Stacey Irvine: Fast gourmet non-hero

Dear gourmet,

In the ranks quickly gourmet are heroes Herman Cain, known for his godfather pizza affiliation and his gospel songs about Susan Guy, pizza, Dominos delivery extraordinaire, and open the woman who wept at the in-N-out Burger. These people have to mentally unhealthy degree, so loved, that makes to see fun and even to some of us who do wines on the Zaxby and fake birthdays, fast-food to one in the outback, relate-able to eat.

It can quickly but something like a gourmet non-hero. And I am sorry, the first reported case of one fast gourmet non-hero, to present Stacey Irvine. Mrs Irvine fell in love with chicken nuggets at the age of two and little else since has eaten. In fact, she never claimed to a fresh fruit or vegetable enjoyed.

Image c/o DailyMail.co.uk

(Ed note: luckily years chicken nugget overdosage seems not have influenced their skin or body type!)

' Chicken nuggets of from McDonalds are my favorite. "I with my friend with chips, 20 parts", says Mrs Irvine, now interviews with various news agencies after their recent collapse by nutrient deficiency. Your NUG Lovin ' caused a seriously nutritionally impairment, not just Mrs Irvine also anemia and swollen tongue veins (?) has caused. But of course, I have as a Psych nut, the psychological dependency on questions, I'm sure, she got continues: how difficult it must be for them to stop eating, the its lifeblood for was basically their entire lives of solid food?

Combining the studies on the addictive properties of Fast Food, with the concept you, to stop something, what you have done before you could form a complete set... and you have a damn good situation to overcome.

#firstworldproblems (c/o DailyMail.co.uk)

Not to their arterial health worry, belong to Mrs Irvine problems what the f with their massive collect of happy meal toys to do.

-

Stacey, I understand your love for nugs (and would be looking forward to your opinion on the controversial McBites listen). But your looking for fast food is a bad name, and for this they must be called the first fast gourmet non-hero.

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Briana Severson is a fast-food lovers and graduate of New York University with a degree in abnormal psychology & creative writing. A native of South Carolina Severson spends their days longing for the Zaxby spicy fried mushrooms and their nights sleep.

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The Chef’s Choice Burger, New Fries | BK Double Review

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The King is dead. Not the restaurant, but the creepy, manic mascot that Burger King embraced for the last decade or so, has fallen by the wayside. Like Carl’s Jr, Burger King’s powers that be have decided to abandon, or at least stop flaunting, the “let’s may you even fatter” marketing strategy.

So in place of ever-expanding burgers, Burger King has gone back to the drawing board to reach new demographics. To wit: their new fries and the BK Chef’s Choice burger. However, while considering my experience with the burger, some more important things occurred to me. First the review, then the wider observations.

Well. There it is. Fancy pantsy hamburger.

The Chef’s Choice burger features a special sauce, smoked bacon, and a brioche bun. On and “red onions!” cuz apparently that’s gourmet or something. The bun, honestly, has the kind of bread that gets really flat and soggy as soon as it gets in your mouth. It’s not as tacky as it could be, so it doesn’t ruin the burger, but it’s not as hearty or hefty as a burger bun should be. The bacon is very good, although the smoky flavor tended to overwhelm the burger in general. All told, the burger is really rich, but not as cohesive as it should be, given that it was probably studied, marketed, and prodded for the last 18 months. I tried it once on a whim, and once for this article. I likely won’t try it again, since I loves me a Whopper, and the flame-broiled simplicity beats this amalgamation for me.

Oh, and the Chef’s Choice, just like Wendy’s new burgers, comes in paper AND a box which just seems ridiculous. Why that is going to convince me your food is higher quality and/or gourmet baffles me.

As to BK’s new fries, as far as I could tell they’re exactly the same as the old ones only bigger, and therefore mealier. And yet, still not particularly potato-y. Dunno what that means or how it happens, but for me, the fries at BK were never the point. As an accompaniment they are good, probably better than the old ones, but still nothing to write home about when held up against all the other fast food fry contenders.

Bigger? Yes. Better? Your mileage may vary. Not worse, at any rate.

Observation One: We’ve been here before. Note the picture below. The Chef’s Choice is basically the same burger as the Arch Deluxe, introduced by McDonalds in the latter half of the 1990s. Fancy bun, special sauce, showy bacon (smoked for the King, peppered for the Clown). McDonald’s introduced this option when they were trying to convince the market that they weren’t just Happy Meals and Playlands. You can argue as to whether the strategy worked or not, but a big part of the push was to let the public know that “McDonald’s is for adults, too.” So is this just part of the growing pains of a fast food chain, pandering to core demos, and then widening the scope? Or is Burger King applying 15-year-old lessons in the hopes of capturing something new? Either way, the main thought I have when considering the Chef’s Choice isn’t that Burger King is trying something new, it’s that they’re trying something their competitor tried, and cancelled, more than a decade ago.

Separated at birth?

Observation Two: Perhaps I’ve come late to the party, but Burger King is becoming BK. Eventually the signs won’t feature words at all just the initials. This is my prediction. I make it because I realized that there are a half-dozen menu items, Stacker, Chicken Fries, etc, which all start with “BK”. Kid’s club ads in the window had a logo that I assume will one day be the corporate symbol of Burger King.

Will this logo compete with the Big Arches? Expect to see it a lot more very soon.

What drove this home was the giant video screen menus behind the counter. Lots of flashy images and the words Burger King or the present logo were nowhere to be found. Branding is really important, and it struck me as borderline bizarre that the restaurant’s name and/or logo wasn’t, in fact, anywhere on the menu.

So whether the grown-up type burger takes or not, it’s pretty clear that in addition to trying new things (or really old things as the case may be), the King is not just dead, the King is changing, and we may just be seeing the beginning of Burger King’s metamorphosis into a different kind of burger joint, whatever they decide BK is going to be.

-

Beau Prichard was born in Australia, raised in New Zealand, and educated by Quakers in Oregon. He lives and works in Seattle. He credits his semi-dependence on fast food partly to the fact that his college couldn’t make a decent hamburger. 

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In the Midwest import: Steak n shake

For months, there was a curious substructure showcase in New York City. For months I thought it was a mirage. COMING SOON, its announced Tyvek-lined window. STEAK 'N SHAKE. And last Thursday applauded open late at night.

Now, I'm no great steak 'n shake fanatics. It pretty much the diner is equivalent to a limp handshake. But as a relative visiting city that you have nothing in common but blood, I was still curious on this mid-American arrival.

What?

First impressions? "Steak n has spruced shake itself to the most outlandish way to prepare himself for his" big city debut."and it's a little embarrassing much zeal for the m & M store, such as your foreign related?" It's kinda like "steak 'n shake, you are sooo cute, but I don't know whether this color pop neon orange lipstick for you is." I understand that to compete with shake shack Amüsieren district on the street, but come on! What makes exactly it "Signature", anyway? When the 'signature' steak 'n shake aesthetics was retained, she would install the overhead fluorescent lamps with soul crushing and a brain-dead Waitstaff. BUT RECEIVED

Is this the 40/40 Club or something? I'm going to have to roll-up with four of my best girls in heels and my thumb they take my fake? It is also a little sad to have these ropes if nobody must be Corraled. There are no storage in the back, steak 'n shake? There were also two two different employees waiting to greet me, before I at the counter. I understand the creation of jobs, but I'm not sure that I so many people for entering a burger joint, to congratulate, there is a doctor on call for cardiac events to the people need me.

And as long as we're on the subject of appearances, we can discuss the staff uniform? This is what I am a steak 'n shake employee used to have:

Admitted is this uniform for a seat, steak 'n shake. I understand that they need to reshape the uniform for counter service and understand me wrong - I like the red and Black Polo. "Fast Food" is definitely without demean the employees. But you have the boots check that the hired model, steak 'n shake-staff in the Letterman video is? It was not those pay just because she had made late debuted in the night. The high heeled, knee-high boots are part of the steak 'n shake uniform. All female employees, these boots are also who were behind the counter.

Weird, Hooters-y uniform aside, let us the most important part of zero: the F -

' Steak n shake, you seriously give me only an olive garden style "is this shit will be awhile" summer after I eat... at the bar ordered? What the actual hell! Even took so long to make my meal! That you gave me this summer me unnecessary anxiety about the wait time. Why do you have the steak 'n shake? Betrayed my trust, why so?

OK, OK, tried to be about this professional. Here is the French fries:

Points for packaging - we have the Burger King "-roast car holder" design goes, but thats a little strange when you consider that there is no driving through. This picture sadly omit to scale you any sense of the steak, but rest assured, the chips are the same shoestring!, need-to-grab-three-at-a-time-for-satisfaction thin Minis 'n shake usually Schills. No surprises are.

I forewent the burger and went straight for the second part of its namesake: the SHAKE.

I went for the Mint Cookies and cream, which comes only in one size. This was also steak 'n tariff to shake as I it in memory. Tasted much like the Shamrock shake - the shake itself i.e., it tasted like sweetened fluoride. However, the nice part about cookies and cream, is that additional crunch within the shake, along with the large pieces of Oreo at the bottom, waiting, as a "victory"beverage guzzled to collect.

This may seem, but with a reverse steak 'n shake Cup.

The food I was hardly disappointing, since already set my expectations low when it comes to steak 'n shake goes. It was also reassuring to know I get all year, a Shamrock shake taste alike could instead of working time guarantees to Queens, the every day in March. This was but all overshadowed by steak 'n shake the eye-catching presentation. Maybe they change their brand are nationwide? Someone can confirm or deny this?

Anyway, it is nice to see it, move a Midwestern Burger chain, up to the East side. Now can we an in-n-out Burger please already?

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Fast food to deliver all your dreams come true

Hey gourmet,.

I was recently to this article (thanks Fritzy!) headed and thought I would share it with you. United States today reports that Burger King (Tin) has started a trial run of delivery services. Now, I will be my personal feelings about BK way and say that this pretty sweet. Although it is reported that it ~ 30 minutes for the food, your home to achieve, if you could supposedly get in the car and takes the restaurant itself go and have your meal in less than ten minutes, it is important to note that the DUH look longer at the delivery. The reigning queen of the Delivery.com, I am an expert in food delivery - I have to get meals up to 2.5 hours, with the average arrival time will be 45 minutes or so... regardless of the distance.

Amazing Photoshop skillz c/o KissRichmond.com

Now, I know NYC is not the norm - I have more than 200 restaurants available at any time during the day, while I had five restaurants in Bushwick, and in Lexington, SC, I had only three. I consider myself blessed to have a McDonald's on-demand, with the only downside being delivery minimum, which means his $10 that either I have $10 worth of food to order or I have someone else ready, McDonalds have delivered to find. In most cases I stick with the former option.

Gourmet, delivery of Fast Food challenges the idea of "Fast Food", inasmuch as it as long as McDonald's (or, more relevantly, Burger King will take) to the door delivered, as it comes to the whip to a hearty salad full of health and beans. But you and I know that fast food is only partially about the convenience - we eat fast food, because we feel its chemical composition makes us safe and warm and happy. We love it for its consistency, that fact that although we are miles away from home, a cheeseburger from McD as a cheeseburger from McD taste, whether your fund called "hunny Pahhye" or offers you a "Cwoawwfee" (Honeypie, coffee.) Phonetic spellings to regional accents actually is).

BUT I TAIL OFF. Burger King offers home delivery in selected locations, and they have much to pack even a system as Domino red bags, is isolated, that it will make your meal at home drenched and sucky appears be patented (by the way: this is not only the worst feeling?) Order food to go, then by the time you get the fries are hanging home and tough and started the Burger has already, even cardboardify?).

I know it is a STOCK OKAY, I'm photo of BURGER KING, sorry, I can no longer CRE8TIVE

My favorite part of this whole task type is the following line from the United States today article:

And Domino, whose Geschäft is 70% delivery is straight - with a smile. "We wish them luck," says spokesman Tim McIntyre. "There is a reason that not all pizza deliver places: it is not easy."

Uh, okay, smile you Mr Tim McIntyre, everything you want delivery is a popular thing, and if BK can manage to successfully withdraw, can possibly even from their recent spiral of failure drag. But I'm not my breath holds.

Et TU, gourmet? How do you think about delivery? Have you already experienced, fast-food delivery? Do you wish that BK would deliver to you? Will delivery services BK the saving grace be? Ask question?

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Briana Severson is a fast-food lovers and graduate of New York University with a degree in abnormal psychology & creative writing. A native of South Carolina Severson spends their days longing for the Zaxby spicy fried mushrooms and their nights sleep.

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Chicken McBites: a Review

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Hei Feinschmecker,

Wie nähern wir uns unserem einjährigen Jubiläum der schnell Feinschmecker (Awww!), hat den ersten Ausbruch von Post-Ideen zu einem Rinnsal reduziert. Selbst die engagiertesten Fast-Food-Fan kann nur schreiben, über wie groß die Zaxby so viele Male ist, bevor sie merkt, dass niemand ein Mist gibt. Aber es ist nicht alle düster, Feinschmecker! All dies bedeutet ist, dass es Zeit, ein neues System der Blogging zu entwickeln: eine erneute Konzentration auf, nun, das neue. Voran, erwarten Sie weitere neue Produkt-Reviews wie wir schnell Feinschmecker Reisen außerhalb unserer Komfortzonen und in das Land der "für eine begrenzte Zeit."

Gestern sah ich einen Freund auf Twitter schweigen von seiner Liebe für so genannte "McBites."

"Who the?!" Sagte ich mir. Ich Schrift "McBites" auf der Rückseite meiner Hand als Erinnerung für mich, dies weiter zu erforschen. Aber ach, der Arbeitstag vorbei keine Möglichkeiten zur online-Recherche. Ich meine Wetten auf diese wird ein neues Element der McDonalds abgesichert und geplant, um von meinem lokalen Macdo nach der Arbeit zu stoppen, wenn nicht vor dem ersten immer eine Maniküre, worin die Maniküre meine linke Hand in ihre Handflächen gehalten, es umdrehen und sagen: "McBites? Willst du mich dies reinigen?"

"Nein," sagte ich. "Lassen Sie es."

Bei McDonalds wurden die McBites ausgeschrieben als "für eine begrenzte Zeit." Ich bestellte einen "kleinen" und die Kasse wies mich auf ein Diagramm zeigt die Vielfalt der McBites — groß, Mittel, klein und SNACK-Größe. AW JA. Ich FREAKING LOVE Snack Größe. Obwohl ich viele verschiedene Lebensmittel zu essen gerne, wie ich meine kleine Portionen. So ich eine Snack-Größe McBites bestellte, Honig-Senfsauce für die dippin', und wenn ich meine Bestellung erhalten habe ich es ganz an der Rückseite des die McDonalds wo ich Bilder machen konnte und ein Vielfraß in Frieden sein.

Und da haben Sie es, den kleinen Karton Huhn McBites. Der Karton selbst vorgestellten eine sehr intensive Architektur — wie die Happy Meal Feld besteht aus einer Reihe von gepunkteten Linien mit Anweisungen zu Falten und zu knacken und Origami. Die McBites-Karton-Features eine Klappe, die mich nahm ~ 1 Minute Zeit, um richtig, eine Klappe dienen als einem Betrieb Falten dock für die Soße-Paket. Nun, dies ist ein bisschen unnötig — Name eine Situation wo es günstiger wäre, Ihre Sauce haben erhöhte drei Zentimeter vom Tisch. Darüber hinaus wurden die Physik von der Soße-Klappe keine allzu attraktiv — sobald die Datenmenge Huhn wird weniger als das Gewicht der Soße, der Karton wird schwerfällig und umwirft.

Aber zurück zu den McBites.

Ein entfernter Verwandter des KFC Popcorn Hähnchen, die McBites sind vor allem TINY. Ich meine, war Heiliger Gott, das größte man kaum größer als mein ein Bild.

Zum Vergleich.

Jetzt sein i ' MMA ehrlich mit Ihnen. I ' MMA fallen einige Nuggets Wahrheit SOZUSAGEN. Diese McBites waren nicht sehr gut. Weil sie so klein sind, sind die McBites etwa 95 % gebraten und nur 5 % Huhn. Und das 5 % Huhn ist wirklich genug zu genießen. Es schmeckt wie das Fadenziehender, weird Huhn erhalten Sie von schlechten chinesischen Restaurants. Auch nach einer liberalen Dosis, Honig-Senf, und sogar mit einem herzhaften Beilage des Fries konnte die McBites mich, sehr zu meinem Leidwesen zu beeindrucken. Ehrlich gesagt, würde ich auch nicht empfehlen, dass Sie versuchen, die McBites. Gehen Sie einfach einige KFC Hähnchen Popcorn, Mann bekommen.

Sieht es vielversprechend aus, aber, nicht wahr?

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Briana Severson ist ein Fast-Food-Liebhaber und Absolvent der New York University mit einem Abschluss in Abnormal Psychology & Creative Writing. Ein Eingeborener von South Carolina Severson verbringt ihre Tage Sehnsucht für die Zaxby würzig gebratene Pilze und ihre Nächte schlafen.

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Thirsty Thursday: Starbucks Blonde Roast

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It seems like a lot of people have beef with Starbucks, yeah? Independent business people get down on Starbucks for pushing out mom-and-pop coffee shops and gentrifying neighborhoods, while capitalists get down on the old boy for offering their waged employees reasonable healthcare. But nobody gets down on Starbucks the way coffee snobs do. “Starbucks!” the coffee snobs poo-poo, sticking their finely-tuned noses in the air. “Why would you drink drip coffee that’s always burned?”

"Excuse me while I espouse on the latest Jonathan Franzen."

And you know, up until now, the coffee snobs had a point. See, it turns out when you don’t put milk or sugar in your coffee (thanks for raising me right, Grandma), you care about the taste of the roast. And I’m not the kind of girl who appreciates a medium roast that tastes like a dark roast because it’s badly brewed.

Ok, ok, maybe I’m a bit of a coffee snob, too. I’m perfectly content to eat a Filet-o-Fish, but put a bad drip coffee in front of me, and I’m as monocle-holding as the next Stumptowner. In the Midwest, all it took was a trip to Caribou, where a girl could choose from three different roasts in the morning, but at Starbucks, it’s usually Pike Place or bust, and I’ve lost count of the times my Pike Place has had a fine layer of grounds on the bottom. (And I’mma apologize for the lack of pictures in this post in advance, because coffee is Serious Business.)

So when my coworker told me Starbucks had introduced a new roast, the blonde roast, on Tuesday, a lighter roast than their normal drip, I was hesitant. I’ve always imagined Starbucks’ biggest problem was their brewing method, not their roast, so what difference would a new bean in the grinder make?

But lately my coworkers and I have been on a quest for the perfect coffee in Midtown — a quest filled with the perils of long walks to Milk Bar, hot coffee dribbled down hands, and the folly of flavor shots. “Could it really be that our saving grace was under the green mermaid’s guidance all along?” we thought, with wonder in our journey-weary hearts.

I gotta say, foodies — I walked in skeptical. My coffee had been burned by Starbucks so many times before. I ordered a small, and behind the counter, I nearly watched an employee fill it with Pike Place — only to have the cashier correct him at the last moment, and fill me up right.

The verdict?

I … I kind of liked it.

Its first impression is a strong, but not overwhelming, bitterness at the front of the palate, which quickly rounds out through the mouth into a full-bodied flavor. It’s not the offensive bitterness of accidental scorching, but the bitterness of a true coffee bean, unsullied by “dark roasting” or whatever you’d call it. Granted, it’s not a particularly complex flavor, but it’s miles better than Starbucks’ typical roast.

I’d give it a 7/10, though that might be slightly high, since I’m judging it in comparison to their original roast, which was virtually undrinkable. For the first time, though, I’m not mildly pissed that this huge corporate chain took a Moby-Dick character’s good name to schill crappy, expensive coffee. It’s not bad! But don’t take a foodies’ word for it. At select location, Starbucks is offering free samples through Sunday.

(POST-SCRIPT: “But Mary!” you cry. “Coffee is hardly fast food relevant!” Well, first I’d have to disagree on that, at least in Starbucks’ case, because not only do they have grab-and-go food, they’re heavily franchised — but second, apparently Starbucks is on this blonde roast game to try and “seduce McDonalds customers” since fast food brews tend to be a lighter roast than Starbucks. Why Starbucks  focus groups overlooked the fact that people probably buy McDonald’s coffee because a small is at least 50 cents cheaper, the world may never know.)

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R.i.p. Pink slime: disgusting moment in history-2012

2. February 2012 | 10 Comments

It's hard to eat a balanced diet gourmet nowadays. This has therefore it is with a heavy heart that I tell you, McDonalds has announced officially, it is pink slime remove from his Burger.

R.I.P sweet Prince.

The term "Pink slime", was referring to this Anaconda-esque food above, recently of Jamie Oliver, health food advocates and human your coined. It is apparently from leftover finally is the "choice cuts" come from beef. It is not allowed for people old snooty to serve UK, but until yesterday, beat the good old US of A some antibacterial spray on it and called it eat. Uuuuund roll him.

I don't know about you, but I'm Machiavelli, when it comes to food. The taste justifies the Namean ingredients? When pink mucus ultimately influenced the taste of my beloved McDonalds hamburger, at the same time, salty and sweet, then my grief begins in earnest.

Green slime, is fortunately still tired celebrities Till Reich comes to baste.

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Midwest Exclusive: Oberweis

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Chatting with coworkers during the holidays, egg nog inevitably came up in conversation. Pumpkin may be my favorite holiday flavor, but egg nog runs a close section, especially since egg nog is more easily paired with alcohol. Unfortunately, this conversation also brought to light a disturbing revelation:

The east coast has no Oberweis.

Those outside the Midwest — even outside the soybean paradise that is Illinois — might be rumpling their foreheads. Oberweis? they ponder. Is that some sort of Nazi uber-weapon? Well, maybe — if the Nazis had weaponized dairy to be fatally delicious.

I guess I can understand why Oberweis is an Illinois-exclusive chain. I mean, I’m no expert on agriculture in the United States, but from the few times I’ve been on a train in New York state versus a train in Illinois, the cow population in the Empire State just doesn’t compare to the Land of the Lincoln. Still, that just means that New York, nay, the ENTIRE COUNTRY, has something incredible to discover.

If I directed 2001: A Space Odyssey, this would be the monolith.

Here’s the 2 things you need to know about Oberweis: 1) their broad, distinctive glass bottle, which can be refilled, and delivered to your door in a 1950s fashion; 2) no one does egg nog this good.

You could milk a god damn reindeer and it wouldn't be this good.

What makes Oberweis egg nog distinct from other, lesser egg nog is how thick it is. It’s nearly a milkshake. I can’t even say it’s nearly a melted milkshake, because when milkshakes melt, they are not as thick as this egg nog. When you take a sip of this mid-American ambrosia, it adheres viscously to every nook, every ridge, every crevice in your mouth. Once the lips have been breached, no place in your mouth is safe against its creamy invasion.

You've been warned.

In addition to milk delivery and egg nog, Oberweis also has stand-alone locations that serves ice cream. While I was home for the holidays, I stopped in, intending to order one of their seasonal specials to review.

And that seasonal special is sweet, sweet Apple Crisp.

Alas, after my POS transaction, I was informed they were out of crumble. But in true Midwestern fashion, the manager compensated by letting me choose anything off the menu. Figuring I had been spurned by the fancy, I went for the simple: egg nog ice cream.

Pure love, solidified.

Check out that serving dish! Although it wasn’t glass, thus robbing it of some authenticity, it still has that classic “soda-jerk” shape, recalling the 1950s. That’s another thing I like about Oberweis. Along with the milk delivery service, it maintains that sort of post-war, hometown return-to-innocence Americana vibe.  Unlike Sonic or Steak ‘n Shake, though, it doesn’t have a kitschy flavor to it. It’s instead like an outdated attitude has been warped into the future, and can only exist within the walls of an Oberweis location.

Case in point: the good-will of the manager. In addition to letting me pick whatever I wanted to eat post-Apple Crisp-disappointment, he also hooked me and my friend up with two tall glasses of chocolate milk on the house.

Are we in an episode of Leave It To Beaver?

Anyway, I don’t think I need to tell you the ice cream (and the milk) was delicious. What gives Oberweis that extra special flavor, though, is the atmosphere. Dairy products are notoriously reminiscent of home: that glass of milk your mom made you chug after school — dipping Oreos in milk — laughing at your sister’s milk moustache. Then again, these images are not so much home as home viewed through a nostalgic lens. Oberweis manages to turn that nostalgic lens upon its entire brand, making every visit a journey into the past. In my mind, that makes Oberweis the perfect Midwestern brand: a little naive, a little tacky, but hearty and homey to the core.

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Sbarro: Bastion of Grease, Lard

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Yeahhh...So I just discovered Instagram...

A little while ago, Sbarro filed for bankruptcy and seemed to be on its way out. It made sense–I mean, come on, when you’re up against the big boys like Pizza Hut and Dominos, Little Caesers and Papa Johns and Godfather’s, what hope does a little pizza chain from Huntington have?

But as of late November, Sbarro is back in the game. And this Christmas, when my LaGuardia terminal only offered Auntie Anne’s and Sbarro as fast food options for the on-the-go traveller, I decided to partake.

I should begin my review with the caveat that my head was not in the game. I was en route to South Carolina, mere hours away from real sweet tea and Zaxby’s. I wasn’t planning to savor anything I ate until the spicy frieds made their way to my plate. In fact, immediately after eating at Sbarro, I ordered a small cone from TCBY and then used a napkin to wipe half the ice cream into the trash. I was just that over it.

I chose Sbarro over Auntie Anne’s because, let’s face it: although the smell of pretzels wafting through the terminal has got to be in the top five smells OF ALL TIME, a pretzel is just not a substantive meal. Even if that pretzel is covering a cheese-infused hot dog, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea that I’m supposed to let a pretzel fill me up. Sbarro, with its strangely harsh lighting and sparse cafeteria-style options, seemed the logical choice for a hungry traveller such as myself.

Woop. There it is.

I placed a fairly tame order of a pepperoni slice and a breadstick. The one word I would use to describe  my meal is: “grease.” Ho-LY CRAP.

Now, I’m no stranger to the world of greasy pizza–I spent many a high school lunch enjoying everyone’s favorite vegetable, individual Tony’s pizzas, the contents of which were about 80% grease to 20% pizza-like substance. My classmates and I knew to accompany our meal with a hearty helping of paper towels, used to sop up the veritable lakes of grease that pooled in the center of our pizza. However, in terms of grease content, Sbarro makes Domino’s taste like that Amy’s organic pizza crap.

Observe dat sheen.

Foodies, I will advocate for an abundance of salt and cheese and fat until the day I die (or am stricken with diabetes or heart problems*). But grease is something else entirely. Don’t get me wrong: I love the post-Papaya-Dog-corndog glow of grease on my fingertips as much as anything else in this world. But there is a difference between a light mist of overabundance and a freaking torrential downpour of the stuff.

Yes, I ate my pizza, though even as I enjoyed the bursts of spice in the pepperoni, the gooeyness of the cheese, I regretted what I was doing. I regretted it more later, as I struggled to read my book on the plane amidst moments of strong self-loathing, hot flashes and stomach cramps. However, I didn’t regret the pizza itself as much as I regretted…the butter stick.

No...I don't mean "bread stick." I mean "butter stick."

Depending on the time of day/your level of sobriety, the above picture will make you feel very strongly in one way or another. To me, completely sober at 11AM on a Wednesday morning, the above picture makes me shudder. The butter stick was adorned with bread, soft and vaguely painful to the teeth in a way I’m not quite sure I can describe. The butter/oil made my lips glisten, and I’m fairly certain I developed three pimples from one bite alone.

Some might assume that due to the level of grease and fat, Sbarro would make a perfect hangover cure. In fact, I would argue the opposite. Although SOME grease/fat/carbs is good for nursing your body after a night of three glasses of wine (WELCOME TO MY WORLD, MAN), too much can be…horrifying.

In conclusion: the next time I’m in LaGuardia’s Terminal C, I’ll try to swallow my strange aversion and go for the pretzel instead. And for the sake of your stomach, your sense of self-worth and your fellow passengers on whatever flight you’re taking / the other shoppers at the mall (srsly, where else do you find Sbarro?)…I’d suggest you do the same.

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Briana Severson is a fast food aficionado and graduate of NYU with a degree in Abnormal Psychology & Creative Writing. A South Carolina native, Severson spends her days pining for Zaxby's spicy fried mushrooms and her nights sleeping.

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Why Taco Bell tastes better on Friday

Today's guest post is brought by Samantha Peters. Samantha is an avid blogger and fast-food fan. Sam believes that now until Easter is the best time to hit up the Taco-Bell-drive-in, if you are looking for the best flavors and quality of the chain has to offer.

Taco Bell is a guilty pleasure for quick gourmet. It is hit or miss, to say the least, but to be honest, we like gambling. But if it is one day, if you can be sure to get a decent meal for tasting Taco Bell this time of year, it Friday. Why that is so?

Because for each fast gourmets who want only the daily taste, born from her stomach now observed, there are several Catholics currently observe lent, a tradition of faith, where meat dishes, on Friday will be refused, and vegetables or meals eaten fish instead. With 77.7 million Catholics in the United States, you will see the incentive for Taco Bell, to fill their Friday-fast food gap.

Even though McDonalds have always fillet-o-fish, Taco Bell is a popular choice among the Catholics that the rose tradition not meat to eat, watching on Friday. This is due to the possibility, almost any meat-filled element with baked beans held replace, as well as the fascination of the offerings time shrimp Taco and Flameless Taco shells, which flavor to an otherwise insipid bean filling serve as Pacific. Not to forget, pillars such as the 7-layer Burrito, meatless menu are always available.

Taco Bell vegetarian prevalence is, in fact, the fast-food chain willing to market itself this time of year directly to Catholics. Almost anywhere you are signs reminiscent to see observer of lent, which are Taco Bell on Friday if necessary.

Thus the word said, the Catholic is to be found everywhere in their advertising. You will see that the word lent anywhere, but the seemingly obvious next is skipped. A bit weird, but that's the world of marketing for you.

What is about these new menu options?

All year round you can no meat filling at Taco Bell refried beans with a few menu options as the 7-layer Burrito or cheesy bean and rice Burrito replaced. It serves as a good way to please a non-meat-eaters, when Scouts for Fast Food. The only problem is that the baked beans with Taco Bell taste tends to be terrible if relatively fresh from the microwave. Confirmed after an hour the grayish-brown matter under the heat lamps and for about remains hot, as long as the workers at the window pass through the bag holds.

Lent to come, but this changes often - especially on Friday. Either there is some unspoken company AX down on each chain or a policy, each Regional Director and franchise owners is smart enough to follow. No matter, make Taco Bell refried beans for an excellent meat substitute of this time of year in everything from the Baja Chalupa for the nachos Bell Grande. In addition better options, the refried beans have as their main ingredient always taste.

When it comes to that time-limited offers, such as shrimp stuffed tacos and shells consisting of Flameless matter, the satisfaction is in a State of hit or miss. Hawaiian Beach get shrimp for a few dollars a Taco, you don't go and when thawed and warmed recently not go, no better than the freeze-dried shrimp taste, that come together with a cup o-ramen.

The same applies to the Flameless shells. To make better fried bean-based Taco flavor, although they have a the suction rate of normal Taco Bell shells will be worthy a permanent one nuclear winter. Again, the time of your order is critical in the course of the week. Do you want the best tasting time vegetarian Taco Bell during the most days of the week, around peak times meal if you know that you order a fresh lineup.

Or just wait until Friday. On Friday, all of these options go always to taste great. Taco Bell afford, to millions of new customers stop by quickly fill only to the belly, while faithful to disturb their faith. You keep these menu options fresh throughout the day just in case, means, pretty much everything on the menu is sure to an extra level that someone kept fresh because, this Lenten observers important, together with them, how employees to bring.

But if you are interested, you must - be Easter fortnight away quickly and then it is back to the old 24/7 random Taco Bell.

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